Today’s shiaigeiko was more of a seminar for shimpan than anything else, though I guess it was fun doing things to provide them with training experiences, such as losing my shinai (did I knock out a lamp?) and unnecessary roughness.  It was odd too because though in practice it was just mostly unbearable, the faux-shiai practice felt better, perhaps just because I was only up against kohai but still had to consciously change things up against opponents, mostly some misete fakes in order to open up a kote for some opponents who kept on blocking their men too much.  I guess I do need to work on confidence first, and greater variety and unpredictability–numerous sensei have remarked on my “honesty” or tendency to hit in the same pattern over and over again.